Things Sirius Black Cannot Unsee
by HecateA
Summary: In which Sirius doesn't know how to knock, sees something he shouldn't have, and can't keep it to himself—especially not during a very serious Order meeting. Oneshot.


**Author's Note: **Enjooooy!

**Disclaimer: **The following characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and this story derives from her original works, storylines, and world. Please do not sue me, I can barely pay tuition.

**Hogwarts submitting info: **Assignment #11, First Aid RICE Method Task #3: Compression: Write about two or more people getting close to each other.

**Betas: **Bailey and Aya

**Warnings: **NA; sexual humour ahead though.

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**Stacked with: **MC4A; Terms of Services; Shipping War

**Individual Challenge(s): **Gryffindor MC (x2); Hufflepuff MC; Bow Before the Blacks; Seeds; True Colours; In a Flash (Y); Yellow Ribbon; Yellow Ribbon Redux; Click Bait It; No Punny Business

**Representation(s): **Aurors Tonks and Kingsley

**Bonus challenge(s): **Middle Name; Second Verse (Ladylike); Chorus (Fizzy Lemonade); Demo (White Dress; Rock of Ages; Hot Apple; Creature Feature; Tomorrow's Shade; Wabi Sabi; Odd Feathers, Surprise!, In the Trench)

**Tertiary bonus challenge: **NA

**Word Count: **681

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_**Shipping Wars**_

**Ship (Team): **Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin (Technicolour Moon)

**List (Prompt): **Spring Medium 1 (Caught in the Act)

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**The Things Sirius Black Cannot Unsee **

Kingsley had to admit: he'd just finished a 32-hour shift with the Auror Office, and his mind was not at its sharpest. That being said, he was struggling to follow all the various threads of the discussion at this week's Order of the Phoenix meeting. In particular, nothing that was coming out of Sirius Black's mouth made sense. If Kingsley didn't know any better, he'd assume that the ex-convict was speaking in bloody tongues. He'd made the mistake of sitting between Remus and Sirius, and he had no idea what on Earth this strange energy between the two was today.

Anyways, Remus was just finishing his report on the state of Malfoy Manor, concluding that the manor most certainly _was _under the protection of a Fidelius charm.

"Thank you, Remus," Dumbledore said. "You've collected a great deal of intelligence."

"Sounds like you're getting busy," Sirius told his friend, nodding.

"Don't be like this," Remus whispered back.

"Like what?"

"You know exactly what you did."

"That's what she said."

"_Sirius." _

"No need to get frisky with me," Sirius replied. "Or with—"

"The next item on the agenda, please," Dumbledore said.

"Right," Tonks said. "I just wanted to update everyone on the illegal wand shipments that have been coming into the U.K. The Auror Department has finally picked up the case, and Hestia and I were assigned to it. The main focus will be to supervise large shipments of foreign imports more closely. Because of that, I reckon that the Order can deprioritize this matter."

"This is excellent news, well done," Dumbledore said.

"Good for you," Sirius said. "Nothing like a big package, huh?"

"Don't push me," Tonks said.

"How much more can you take?"

"I have news from the Department of Mysteries," Arthur chimed in.

"Yes please, thank you," Remus breathed. Kingsley had never seen him look so uncomfortable, which was saying something, but he still didn't get _why. _

"There's been a raid," Arthur said.

"Bit of the old in-out, in-out," Sirius nodded.

Kingsley heard Remus sigh.

"Nothing appears to have been taken," Arthur continued. "Or at least, not too roughly since there is no damage…"

"Thank God."

"Sirius," Remus hissed. "You're about one comment away from being gagged."

"Ooooh…"

"We'll just be keeping an eye on the situation to make sure that the Ministry does in fact enhance its defenses to include further intrusions," Arthur continued.

"Has one of our own assessed the current state of the defenses?" McGonagall asked. "To make sure that we will be able to continue our own patrols?"

"I did," Tonks chimed in.

"Yes," Sirius said. "She tried everything, but just couldn't get it in."

Tonks shot him a dark look.

"Not much has changed. It only took about five minutes," she said, turning back to McGonagall.

"Poor woman," Sirius said, shaking his head.

She spun towards him.

"That's it," Tonks said, getting to her feet. "I'm committing a murder, I don't care how bad Azkaban is or how many witnesses there are in this room."

"On the voyeur side, are we?"

"I will _not _make it quick."

Sirius bounced up, cackling with laughter.

"I am _dripping _with excitement," Sirius said.

He ran out of the room. Like any good cousin, Tonks darted after him.

"I can't unsee the things that I have seen!" Sirius yelled as the two stampeded away.

"Wait a minute," Kingsley said as it finally dawned on him. He looked from Tonks' empty chair to Remus, who was holding his head in his hand, looking exhausted. They'd been sitting next to each other… "Have you two been?"

"One job," Remus said. "He had one job. He didn't even have to do anything, he just had to shut up."

"I knew it!" Molly chimed in. "I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!"

"I'm in hell," Remus whispered, turning scarlet.

"How long has this been going on?" McGonagall asked, seemingly shocked.

"Please, we should really return to the agenda…" Remus said.

"Motion to appeal the agenda to add a discussion item," Fleur Delacour chimed in.

"Please excuse me," Remus said, getting up and tucking his chair back in. "I have to go play the part of accessory to murder."


End file.
